I Love Supporting Actors: William Sadler

You know, this guy:
Notable Roles:

Col. Stuart - "Die Hard 2"

Grimm Reaper / English Guy - "Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey"

Heywood - "The Shawshank Redemption"

Sloan - "Star Trek: Deep Space Nine"



Why He's Awesome:

Most character actors find a niche and stick to it. The guys who work for decades find a way to play similar characters and play them better than anyone else. Sadler does the exact opposite. He can play a staunch military man or the goofy comic relief.

The pantheon of Die Hard villains is an impressive group to be a part of. Sadler brings every bit of gravitas and evil as Alan Rickman and Jeremy Irons (yeah, even Timothy Olyphant). Unlike those acting giants, Sadler went toe to toe with John McClane and gave him a worthy physical challenge. Sadler's career never got the attention of the other three, but man can he act. In the second Bill & Ted movie, he played not one, but two characters. Despite his roles of great focus, it's his ability to just show up and be a solid character that makes him great. His Heywood in Shawshank does nothing more memorable than mispronounce Alexandre Dumas, but in a movie so perfectly put together, he's just another amazing supporting actor. He's so perfect, he played in two more Stephen King adaptations, The Green Mile and The Mist.

Strangely, my favorite Sadler character is a recurring role on Star Trek: DS9. Sadler plays Sloan, your average shadowy shadow agent with loose morals. The role could have been forgettable had it not been for Sadler. In the utopian future society of the Star Trek universe, Sadler was the first truly evil Federation officer I had ever seen. Many officers in Star Trek's past had been misguided by whatever to take matters into their own hands, but Sloan truly believed that for an ideal society to exist, someone must do its evil. Sadler's calm demeanor and unmemorable smallness made this revelation all the more chilling. He declares in favor of an assassination plot "Inter arma enim silent leges (in times of war, the law falls mute)," a declaration of moral ambiguity that changed the very basis of an entire fictional universe.

You'd Be Surprised to Learn:

He was born on the exact same day as Ron Perlman.

Check out his imdb page.

Silverchair Killed Grunge

[originally written for overtimecomedy.com on 11/02/06]

Oh memories. I remember the day I found out Kurt Cobain died. I was playing in the basement and my sister came down to tell me the bad news. I asked what seemed to me at the time to be the most logical question, “Who the fuck is Kur Cobain?”

Up until this point in my life, I had only listened to The Capital Steps and randomshow tunes, but in the months and years to follow, I found a genre of music and perfectly described my teenage angst, and the crud you find in rain gutters. Bands from all corners of the globe got famous by ripping off the Seattle scene. As this “alternative” music became mainstream, a gleam of hope came from down under.

A newly pubescent Australian lad who looked just like Cobain released an album with his two buddies. Could this kid be the next Kurt? Could this trio be the next Nirvana? Could this be the beginning of a fresh, new wave of grunge music?

No, no, and no, it wasn’t.

Smart People Ruin Everything. Ruiners.

Part 8 of 12: Wilson to Hoover

In 1912, everything seemed to work for William Jennings Bryan. Two Constitutional Amendments (Income Tax [XVI] and popular election of senators [XVII]) that he led through Congress were on their way to becoming the first Amendments ratified since 1870. TR had returned to wrestle the White House from Taft, resulting in both men losing the election and the Republican Party losing its most ardent reformers. His handpicked candidate had finally won the White House, and he was about to be sworn in as Secretary of State. Before the end of his time in office, two more of his Amendments (Prohibition [XVIII] and Women’s Suffrage [XIX]) would be ratified and his tireless collecting of foreign armistice treaties would help form the League of Nations. Well, good for Bryan, cuz everyone else got fucked.

Thomas Woodrow Wilson (Governor, Democrat) 1913-1921 (re-elected) VP: Thomas Marshall; FL: wife Ellen (died), wife Edith

A genius political science scholar, Wilson positioned himself as the new head of his party, thereby making his chief responsibility to guide Democrats in Congress, and by extension Democrats in state government. Mr. Smarty Pants missed a fundamental flaw in his plan, though. His reforms would only work if Wilson himself was president. Now watch as his successors, scared of change, roll back every single reform.

Warren Gamaliel Harding (Senator, Republican) 1921-1923 (died) VP: Calvin Coolidge; FL: wife Florence

Harding deftly won by making everyone afraid of how smart Wilson was and opposing basically every reform since Hayes. He deferred authority to Congress and gave high offices to his buddies, who subsequently tried to sell off the country piece by piece. Rumor has it, his wife found out his buddies’ scandals were about to come out, so she [allegedly] poisoned him to spare him the embarrassment. Historians now believe had he not died, he could have actually defended himself, instead of dying in disgrace.

John Calvin Coolidge (VP, Republican) 1923-1929 (inherited then re-elected) VP: Charles Dawes; FL: wife Grace

Coolidge was the first “radio President” (I’m quoting myself because hopefully I just made up that term). He was a crappy politician and an even worse public speaker, so he took to the airwaves to get the people to support his policies. It worked, and he remains one of history's most popular presidents. Unfortunately, Genius Boy’s Roaring ‘20s spending led to the Depression. Oh, also, he kept us out of The League of Nations and World Court, resulting in the ultimate dissolution or de-balling of both. Way to kill peace, douche.

Herbert Clark Hoover (Sec. of Commerce, Republican) 1929-1933 (just 1 term) VP: Charles Curtis; FL: wife Lou (I’m guessing it’s short for Louisa)

You’d think a Sec. of Commerce would be able to keep us out of a Depression. So did the American people. He did what his giant brain told him would save us, and he failed miserably. I guess these things happen. Oh, but he built a sweet dam.

Next Up – FDR to Ike: Don't Fight the Future

I'm Collecting President Dollar Coins

For those of you that don't know, the US Mint is releasing dollar coins with pictures of the presidents on them, just like they did with the state quarters. If you give a crap, save this link, and I will update this image as I collect more coins.

Oh, and if you really give a crap, help me collect them. I'll give you a dollar for the coin.

Release Schedule:
2009:
Harrison-Taylor
2010:
Fillmore-Lincoln
2011:
Johnson-Garfield
2012:
Arthur-Cleveland (twice)
2013:
McKinley-Wilson
2014:
Harding-FDR
2015:
Truman-LBJ
2016:
Nixon & Ford (so far)

I Love Supporting Actors: Lane Smith

You know, this guy:
Notable Roles:

D.A. Jim Trotter - "My Cousin Vinny"

Coach Jack Reilly - "The Mighty Ducks"

Walter Warner - "Son in Law"

Perry White - "Lois and Clark..."



Why He's Awesome:

Lane Smith has been all over movies and TV since the '70s, but it's only more recently that he rose to better notability.

My Cousin Vinny is one of my favorite movies of all time, and he's one of the reasons. He's just a funny guy. The trial at the center of the film gets rolling with his opening statement, in which he mines a simple legal speech for every bit of comic gold. He can be both condescending and charming, Southern and insightful, soft and intimidating. The character just calls for a D.A. with no real emotional attachment to the case, but Smith brings to the table real depth, far more than the movie required.

Once he got on our RADAR, he kept coming back, and he kept getting better. In The Mighty Ducks, his very presense is enough to push Emilio Estevez to the brink. In Son in Law, he provides the perfect counter-point for Pauly Shore. Even in the end when Pauly's Weasel vibe takes him over, he manages to maintain his dignity, while spouting Shore-isms. That has to be up there in the canon of acting abilities.

He finally got the notoriety he deserved as the great Perry White. In almost every other incarnation of Superman, Perry White was just a throwaway background character. He gave Lois and Clark their assignments, and maybe got kidnapped once or twice. Smith turned Perry White into a father figure, and for a guy whose dad got blowed up on a distant planet, Superman could use every daddy he could get. Not even the great Frank Langella in Superman Returns could match Lane Smith's Daily Planet Editor-in-Chief. (side note: both Lane Smith and Frank Langella have played Nixon)

You'd Be Surprised to Learn:

He died in 2005. Seriously, I just found this out researching his career.

Check out his imdb page.

Exosquad Ratcheted Up the Body Count for Our Enjoyment

[originally written for overtimecomedy.com on 11/21/06]

Simply put, Exosquad was a cartoon about war, World War 2 to be precise. Quick history: 50 years previous, the artificially created Neosapian slave race rose up to free themselves from their human oppresors, until humans created exo frames to kick their asses, and now in the present, Phaeton, the neosapian leader of Mars has used neosapians’ anger and feelings of inferiority to lead them into war against humans. See, exactly like WW2. Look it up, it’s history.

Let’s run down what it takes top put on the most epic cartoon war ever.

Giant battle armor, each equipped with enough, lasers, missiles, and grappling hooks to take out a small army. Check.

A Hitler-like ambitious, fascist villain who is, by the way, 10-feet tall, super strong and has the ability to clone himself. Check.

Story lines dealing with the distrust, betrayal, loyalty, and the array of deep moral issues related to war, all told in a kid-friendly way. Check.

The most spectacularly violent battle scenes ever seen in a cartoon. Check. Check. Check. Check. Check. Check.

Having just finished watching all 52 episodes in a row, I can say I have never seen so much violence. There must have been a per episode death quota, not to mention far too many hospital scenes, full of amputees and other victims of horrible explosions. Hell, in one of the first episodes, they, in the span of a minute, introduce a character and kill her. Oh yeah, and then her commanding officer spends the next two years mourning her death and blaming himself. What the hell is wrong with these people? Did they really think young boys want to watch this level of carnage?

Holy crap, this show was so fucking sweet!

Great Scenes From Bad Movies: Eurotrip

Eurotrip is my holy grail of bad movies. It gets so close in so many places, but it never comes together. It has moments of near brilliance, like how they end up in eastern Europe with next to no money, only to discover that in the former Soviet block, a couple American dollars makes you a millionaire. Unfortunately, most of the jokes rely on broad European stereotypes and the movie never lives up to the obvious talent behind it.

There is, however, one good scene.

The movie opens with main character Scott's girlfriend Fionna dumping him right after he graduates high school. Oh yeah, then she tells him she's been cheating on him. Oh yeah, then after being treated to Scott getting zero sympathy from friends and family over his broken heart, he shows up to a sweet end of school party, where he finds out Matt Damon's the guy (or one of the guys) she's been screwing.

And here's the best part. Mr. Damon plays the singer of a sweet band, who treats the party to a rendition of Lustra's "Scotty Doesn't Know." He calls Fionna, played by the imminently fuckable Kristin Kreuk, up on stage and tells her the song is in celebration of their anniversary. That's right, not only is she cheating on him, they've been doing it for a year. She's the premier whore of their little town, and apparently Scott's the only one that doesn't know. Some select lyrics from "Scotty Doesn't Know:"

Scotty doesn't know,
That Fionna and me,
Do it in my van every Sunday.

She tells him shes in church,
But she doesn't go,
Still shes on her knees, and...

Scotty doesn't know, oh.

Damon belts out this little love ditty, while Fionna whores it up on stage, and poor Scotty's left to wallow all alone. This scene had me. I was convinced this was going to be the first good National Lampoon movie since Loaded Weapon 1. Like so many other National Lampoon movies, this one disappointed me. It's never again as funny as the opening, and despite flashes of awesome, it never again comes together.

Fall Movie Preview: My Takes

All About Steve (when guys do it, it's romantic. when girls do it, it's stalking)

Gamer (the movie looks awful, and I can't wait to see it)

New Moon (a sequel to that Sam Rockwell movie, already?)

Jennifer's Body (it's gonna be just like Juno, right?)

Love Happens (Along Came Picture Perfect Good Girl Break Up Friends)

Surrogates (like A Scanner Darkly, without the distracting rotoscoping, oh, and a plot)

Capitalism: A Love Story (when last we saw Michael Moore, he was masturbating all over himself, how will he follow that?)

The Informant! (the title has an exclamation point!!!!)

Fame (doctor? laywer? no, children, what the world needs is more actors)

Coco Before Chanel (Audrey, you're really testing my love for you)

Amelia (Swank, just come out of the closet already)

Ong Bak 2 (he's just going to keep hitting you in the head)

Saw VI (i hope they never stop making these)

Nine (wait, is this the one with Judi Densch and Fergie or the one with the ass kicking dolls?)

2012 (no one blows up cities like Roland Emmerich)

The Blind Side (white people fix black people)

Sherlock Holmes (i fuckin' hate pikeys, dear watson)

Brothers (Tobey Maguire and his brother, poor man's Toby Maguire)

Help Me Understand District 9

HEAVY SPOILERS THROUGHOUT

I feel like I'm missing something. In a summer that brought us such mid-numbing, popcorn crap like Wolverine, Terminator: Salvation, and Transformers 2 (all of which I turned my brain off an enjoyed), I can understand why District 9 rises above the crowd. Unlike most of the movies this summer, even Star Trek which rocked, District 9 had some real thought behind it. I can fully understand why people are swooning over it. But this movie was far from the best movie of the year. It's far from the best sci-fi movie of the last ten years, as some have said. Frankly, I thought it was just ok.

You can say I'm just overthinking it, but this list excludes all the nit-picky stuff like, "How can these clearly sea-creature-based aliens survive in our atmosphere?" That kind of stuff I don't think about, and even if I do, I brush it aside as leaps of logic necessary to tell a story. These are the things that truly bothered me about District 9:

1) Their attempts to make the messages about apartheid not so heavy handed resulted in a movie that makes no sense to anyone that knows anything about apartheid. It's not an allegory for apartheid because the situation is completely different. In reality, the blacks of South Africa were the native population and the whites came in and oppressed them. In the movie, the South African government took the aliens off their ship to help them, then eventually turned on them. I get that the aliens got out of control, but so soon after apartheid, there's no way the people of South Africa would react like this. Many of them still remember apartheid, and like how the Germans view the Holocaust, it would be such a pock on their collective psyche that they would never let this happen again so soon. In the original short film, which I just watched, it all takes place DURING apartheid, which actually makes sense.

2) The movie is not true to itself. At its core, District 9 is an action movie, as evidenced by the third act, which is all violence, no weight. As much as it's dressed up as a thinking man's action movie, it's just a regular action movie with a thin veil of thought. Not a single one of the major issues of the film gets resolved. The end of the movie focuses so much on the action, we never get a resolution on anything really. I'm all for ambiguity, but there's a difference between an ambiguous ending, and an ending that doesn't resolve anything.

3) The first act spends so much time with them handing out these eviction notices when they should have spent more time setting up the world. The aliens have been here 20 years, how did we get from welcoming them and saving them to oppressing them? Clearly, humans and aliens have the ability to communicate, how could we not, in 20 years time, teach them how to properly act on our planet? What did we try before the ghetto? Was this a last resort, or did one day we all just decide to throw them into District 9?

4) A list of loose plot threads and missed opportunities:

a- I was frankly pissed off that when Wikus stormed MNU, he didn't have the chance to confront the scientists that tortured him. These scientists just got to get away with being evil?

b- No one but Wikus sees how horrible District 9 is. Yeah, eventually, Wikus' buddy uncovers everything, but he could have done that whether Wikus turned into an alien or not, making the big resolution of the film not even remotely related to the story.

c- MNU's goals were far too shallow. Weapons? That's it? This is literally a multi-national corporation, and all they want from the aliens is to unlock their weapons technology? Why don't they have teams of scientists working with the aliens to go through the mother ship and learn the diverse technologies?

d- How did a ship with barely enough power manage to stay hovered over Johannesberg for 20 years?

e- How did their fuel turn Wikus into an alien? Do they all look the way they look because of exposure to this fuel? If this fuel has just been lying around for 20 years, why has no one else been exposed and transformed into an alien?

f- They tell us prawn is a derogatory term, but then never tell us what to actually call them. If prawn is derogatory, wouldn't it be like the n-word to them, and subsequently wouldn't the aliens react appropriately to being called prawn?

5) Could the aliens and humans communicate with each other or not? In the beginning, Wikus confronts Christopher with an eviction notice. Christopher actually reads it and points out the legal points of said contract. Wikus reacts like Christopher's just being difficult like the rest of them. He doesn't even acknowledge that this stupid alien has so quickly picked up on the fact that what they're doing's pretty illegal. That led me to believe Wikus didn't really understand their language. But then, once he teams up with Christopher, suddenly they're easily communicating. Writers, seriously, you can't just change the facts when they're convenient.

6) Why didn't the aliens, with their clearly superior weaponry, just rise up and demand better living conditions? Wikus, with his one gun, broke into MNU and took on a clearly well-trained military unit. I get that 20 years later, they've sold their guns for cat food, but how did they ever let themselves get subjugated. You can say they didn't rise up for fear or reprisal, but they clearly establish that the prawns are just the dregs of society, none of which really think globally, so why wouldn't they just grab a gun and demand the living conditions they want? Normally, this would be the sort of thing I'd just let go, but the weapons are such an important part of the story, I can't just ignore how they half-handled the issue of guns.

7) The violence was wholly unnecessary. Really, my main problem was the gun that made people explode. I'm all for deplorable violence, but if this is supposed to be a thinking man's action movie, why is the violence so explicit?

In conclusion, this is what I think happened. The ending of the movie was supposed to be that this ship was a test for the human race. These aliens send a ship full of refugees to a planet and see how the dominant species treats them. The ending was supposed to be another ship coming and telling everyone what assholes we are and warning that they're coming back to destory us. Then South Park did the exact same thing (with the pine-box derby racer episode) and they realized Matt Stone and Trey Parker stole their poignant ending. They couldn't come up with a more meaningful ending in time, so they cobbled together what we got.

Am I just completely off my dot here?

Give Michael Vick a Chance

I've been giving this whole issue a lot of thought. Without a doubt, his dog fighting was absolutely deplorable. It is a hell of a lot worse than the violent crime, spousal abuse, and drug use the rest of the NFL is known for. Let's get real, most football players are violent thugs. At least they're channeling their violent tendencies toward a game, as opposed to the streets. Michael Vick rises to the top of this shit pile, though. Those poor dogs. Even the ones that survived his torture will have to be put to sleep because he's trained them to be killers.

It would be easy to get riled up and bring the protesters together to boycott the Eagles organization. Karmically, Vick should end up on the Lions. He should have to play his heart out week after week, only to lose over and over again. A cushy gig where he gets to sit on the sidelines for 6 or more weeks, while he collects his $1.2 million seems to spit in the eye of dogs and animal lovers everywhere. I think everyone's first reaction was to get pissed off.

On the other hand, Andy Reid has two kids in jail. Yes, they're drug offenders not puppy killers, but see it from Reid's perspective. The American system of justice is based on the idea of rehabilitation. If Vick can get a second chance, so can all those drug offenders wrongfully jailed just for buying pot. We can all whine about how hard we are on drug offenders, and how we're not hard enough on puppy killers, but this is the world we live in, and in this world, criminals are supposed to get a second chance.

But a second chance shouldn't mean a $1.2 million paycheck, right? For Michael Vick, it does. Let's put aside for a second that he's wildly talented. The ASPCA has come out in support of Vick's re-instatement. They say let's put this guy front and center, so he can publically denounce himself. He has spent the last 18 months thinking about what he's done, and he now honestly believes what he did was wrong. He has been going around the country trying to keep kids away from what he's done. And it's working!

We're all afraid of teaching kids that sports heroes can get away with anything, but look at the other side. We're also teaching felons that if they try hard enough and apply themselves, they can re-enter society. Vick isn't getting special treatment because he's a celebrity; he's a celebrity because he works his ass off. The prisons are full of repeat offenders, most of which are drug addicts. Prisons are a drain on our economy, and maybe giving Vick a second chance will be a first step toward turning inmates into functioning members of society.

Go Eagles!

Michael Vick? Now I'm Fucked

The Philadelphia Eagles just signed Michael Vick. Awesome.

My family's from Philadelphia, but I grew up near Boston. I am simultaneously a Patriots fan and an Eagles fan. Impossible, you say? Fuck you. I like two teams, deal with it. In a head-to-head like today's game, I root for the Patriots. You know what, though? It makes football more enjoyable. Football's a better game when you really care about one team, and I get twice as many games I really care about. The 2003-2004 post-season was fucking intense as I watched my two teams run inevitably toward each other. Since then, being a dual fan has been even harder because everyone expects me to pick a side.

Outside Boston, being a Patriots fan sucks. Why am I a Pats fan? Well, because I grew up like five minutes from Foxboro Stadium. They were my team before I even know what football was. Since they started winning Super Bowls, everyone's started hating them, like people have despised the Yankees for years. Since they started winning, I've liked them even more. They're just a solid team. The offense always keeps you guessing, and the defense, while not perfect, has some of the best players in the league.

That whole cheating thing just made matters worse. All you babies still pissed off that my boys killed your sweet winning streak five years ago get to whine about how the Pats didn't deserve their way to three Super Bowl wins. I deal with it because I love my team.

Now the Eagles signed Michael Vick. Football prowess aside, signing Vick means quite simply that the Eagles organization is okay with dog fighting. Before he got arrested, I loved Michael Vick. I was emotionally invested in hoping he'd mature into the great quarterback he had the potential to be. After the dog fighting came to light, my investment in Vick ended. It doesn't fucking matter how well he plays the game, he forces cute puppies into harm's way. When he was re-enstated, I figured the Lions would pick him up. Their desperation gives them an excuse to look the other way. There is no excuse for the Eagles to sign him.

So great. My teams are cheaters and puppy killers. Awesome.

The Weirdest Thing

[originally posted on myspace as part 2 of my "Dedicated to the Death of Dave" series]

The drive to work is my only sanctuary. Everyone complains about how no one here knows how to drive. I'll admit it pisses me off when people change lanes without signaling, or drift out of their lanes, or run yellow lights, but compared to living with Dave, it's pure relaxation. Locked in my car, he can't get to me.

When I got to work, I opened the car door to find Dave standing right there, looking at me as though he was wondering why I took so long. He was home when I left, and I took the best route here. There wasn't even traffic today, and he got here before me. I just ignored him, as I always do, but then the strangest thing happened. He started logging tapes. He just sat down at an empty logging station and started typing. Without saying a word to anyone, he logged all day. He even found start paperwork, so if there's some clerical error, he could get paid having never been hired. I just pretended I didn't know him. Everyone else just piled work on the new guy. Serves him right.

He burned through every tape they gave him. The producers were raving. He's coming in tomorrow! Fucking great. Now we get to carpool. Awesome. On the plus side, with each paycheck, he gets one step closer to buying a bed, and one step closer to death.

Fucking Dave.

The Legend of Zelda’s Ending Sucked

[originally written for overtimecomedy.com on 11/06/06]

The Legend of Zelda was the first sprawling epic video game. Its points-less, exploration base was the template for thousands of video games since. Its 8-bit overworld theme is considered the best piece of video game music ever conceived, and personally, I think the sound effect for Link’s shooting sword is the great sound ever built. It was a revolution in every way… except the ending.

Some of us spent half our childhoods battling and puzzle-solving our way through Hyrule. That was just within the game. That cartridge was finicky as hell. We all remember exactly how many pieces of cardboard to shove into the console to get it to sit right. This ordeal lasted years, and for all our struggles, we were treated to Zelda and Link holding their twin triforces into the air. That was it. Mario 2 sucked, and at least then we got to see the fairies cart away that evil frog dude.

It was like spending years on your senior thesis film, only to discover an art school degree means absolutely nothing. And this was much worse!

I Fear for the Life of Eva Marie Saint

I'm not one to get crushes on actresses. Whenever someone asks, I usually say Angelina Jolie or Jessica Alba just because they're safe answers. I have for a while now sort of had a crush on Eva Marie Saint, from On The Waterfront and North by Northwest. It's not like I dream of dating her or anything; she just turned 85. Back when everyone was playing all melodramatic, she was just honest, meek, and classy. She went toe-to-toe with Brando, and that's not an easy thing to do.

She was in On The Waterfront with the recently deceased Karl Malden. That movie's screenwriter, Budd Schulberg, just died and it got me thinking these thing do usually come in threes, so who's next? Normally, I wouldn't be so superstitious, but celebrities are dying left and right these days. In honor of Schulberg's death, NPR replayed an old interview with Saint, and while she relived the old days, I started wondering who the third one could be.

Brando? Dead. Lee J. Cobb? Dead. Rod Steiger? Dead. Elia Kazan? Dead. Martin Balsam? Dead. Fred Gwynne? Dead. Composer Leonard Bernstein? Dead. No one else in that movie matters, except Eva Marie Saint.

This started as a really horribly joke in my head, but now I am seriously freaked out Eva Marie Saint's going to die. And her last movie's going to be Superman Returns.

I Love Supporting Actors: Alan Ruck

You know, this guy:
Notable Roles:

Cameron Frye - "Ferris Bueller's Day Off"

Capt. John Harriman - "Star Trek: Generations"

Rabbit - "Twister"

Stuart Bondek - "Spin City"



Why He's Awesome:

I was going to save him for later, but John Hughes just died, so he gets a bump. Come on, everyone loves Cameron, and that's a testament both to the genius writing of John Hughes and the soulful acting of Alan Ruck. He can make any character loveable, whether he's stupid or skeevy, you always love everything he does. He's a perfect go-to guy for procedurals. He just shows up and plays a horrible lawyer or patient or criminal that you're drawn to for every moment he's on screen.

In his younger years, he played these sheepish characters, like Cameron or Capt. Harriman. In Generations, he just repeats the line "That's not coming until Tuesday" and it gets funnier every time he says it. He's the perfect meek foil to an increasingly annoyed Shatner. All that changed, though, after Spin City. His Stuart is the most loveable pervert you will ever see. The guy's a skirt chaser in the classic sense, and like many to come before him, he finds a way to make the jerk endearing for year after year.

You'd Be Surprised to Learn:

Before Ferris Bueller, Alan Ruck played Matthew Broderick's best friend in a Broadway production of Biloxi Blues, and in 2005, he played Leo Bloom in The Producers, who was originally played on the stage by Matthew Broderick.

Check out his imdb page.

I Love Supporting Actors: Stephen Tobolowsky

You know, this guy:
Notable Roles:

Werner Brandes - "Sneakers"

Sammy Jankis - "Memento"

Ned Ryerson - "Groundhog Day"

Bob Bishop - "Heroes"



Why He's Awesome:

When I came up with the idea of doing a series on supporting actors, he was the first on my list. "Sneakers" has always been one of my favorite movies. In the movie, the good guys chop up tape of his voice to get past a voice authorization lock, and his inflection absolutely makes the phrase "...my. voice. is. my. passport. verify. me." In "Memento" he put that goopy voice of his to good use as the sad, doomed Sammy Jankis. And who could forget Ned? Ned Ryerson? No seriously, you cannot forget him after hearing him over and over again.

I was excited when he showed up on "Heroes." The man has worked consistently in film and TV for like 30 years. He'll never be big, but he'll always find work. Too bad he died so quickly on "Heroes," but maybe one day there will be a solid series role for him.

You'd Be Surprised to Learn:

He played the evil lieutenant guy in "Spaceballs" who proclaimed, "These are not them! You've captured their stunt doubles!"

Check out his imdb page.

‘90s Hip-Hop: Child Labor Is Wiggida Wiggida Wiggida Whack

[originally written for overtimecomedy.com on 9/19/06]

In the early ‘90s, record companies, like the cigarette companies before them, realized if they hook listeners young, they’ll listen to poppy hip-hop for life. The core of their insidious plan took the form of two youngsters in dreds and reversed clothing, and five New Edition wannabes from Philadelphia. That’s right, Kriss Kross and ABC (Another Bad Creation).

Anyone you know that listens to hip-hop now is just the result of this corporate conspiracy gone horribly right. What you don’t see nowaways are those poor kids. I haven’t seen any of them, so I can only assume they’re dead.

The silver lining, though, is that they died for what they love. If Disney taught me anything it’s that young, oppressed boys love to sing and dance. The more oppressed they are, the larger the musical numbers. If the video for “Jump” is any indication, Kriss Kross were both wildly oppressed, and happier than you will ever be.